


Brother Dearest

by Kati67



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Angst, Hurt, Johnlock - Freeform, M/M, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-02-25
Updated: 2014-03-14
Packaged: 2018-01-13 18:49:04
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 7
Words: 17,556
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1237162
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Kati67/pseuds/Kati67
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>My first ever fanfic, but since His last vow it was in my head and had to be written. So here it is. <br/>And only because of what Mycroft has said... You know what happened to the other one..</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading my first fanfic. I have written a lot of stories but only a few in English.   
> English isn't my first language so I hope the grammar is okay. I hope you will tell me what you think of my fic. So far I have 4 chapters and working on more. 
> 
> Thank you! 
> 
> Kati

_'When the going gets tough the tough gets going’_   _(Billy Ocean)_  
  


‘Sherlock?’ John Watson called his friend’s name when he opened the door to their home in 221B Baker Street. ‘Sherlock? Are you here?’  
John walked straight through to the kitchen but all he saw was quite a messy table with knick knacks and half empty tea cups. He walked backwards out of the kitchen, turned round to see Sherlock’s coat and scarf lying on his empty chair.  
  
‘So he must be in’ John mumbled to himself.  
‘Sherlock? Answer me please’  
John called out ones again. Downstairs he heard Mrs. Hudson, the landlady, stumbling round so he shut the door behind him. He took of his own coat and scarf and hung them on the coat rack. Why didn’t he answer? John noticed Sherlock’s bedroom door was closed. It was never closed. John felt a sudden jolt of nervous panic in his stomach. This was odd even for Sherlock. With butterflies of anxiety fluttering around in his stomach, John walked to Sherlock’s bedroom door. He stood there silently for one moment and listened at his door. There was not a sound to be heard. Nervously John knocked at the bedroom door and waited. When there was no answer he knocked again and opened the door: ‘Sherlock?’  
Although the curtains where drawn, the bed was neatly made and no one was inside. John sighed. Where could he be? He turned round and stared at the bathroom door, which was also closed. Maybe he was having a bath? He listened but couldn’t hear a damn thing. He coughed and then knocked and opened the door at the same time. ‘Sherlock?’ At first he stood there as if he couldn’t believe his eyes. Cold shivers went up and down his spine. Then he cried out: ‘Bloody hell!’  
  
Sherlock was lying in the bathtub only in his boxers with his head under water. He was white as a sheet. John being a doctor, knew immediately this was wrong. There were no bubbles coming out of his mouth! He leaped forward and dragged Sherlock out of the bath. Just as he wanted to begin mouth-to-mouth resuscitation, Sherlock started to cough and opened his eyes.  
  
  
‘Hello there’ he said with a hoarse voice from coughing looking at John. ‘It was about time you got here, I was lying there for ages. I was starting to feel like a dried up plum.’  
  
‘Jesus fucking Christ, Sherlock’ John cried out, jumping up angrily.  
  
‘There’s really no need to bring religion into the conversation’ Sherlock said sitting up. ‘Hand me a towel, will you?’  
  
John stared at him, took a towel that hang next to the bathroom sink and threw it at Sherlock. Sherlock got up and wrapped the towel around his waist. John turned round and stampeded out of the bathroom, leaving Sherlock to get himself dried of. He just had about enough of his experiments.  
  
He went to the living room and sat himself down in his chair. He was angry at Sherlock for being so thoughtless. Not only that, he seemed to be angry all the time lately. Ever since; Ever since Mary had betrayed him. He didn’t want to think about that anymore. He knew he had trouble letting people into his life. Sherlock was the first after a very long time who succeeded in befriending him. Strange really, he seemed to put everyone else off. Not John. They were friends from the start and although Sherlock had put him through hell he always seemed to forgive him, always. He didn’t know why, he just did. It was a long time ago that Sherlock had to fake his own death and jump of a building. He had forgiven him for that too. And then there was Mary. She just walked into his life, just as he needed someone to console him. He had trust issues his therapist said. It took a while before Mary could break down that wall he had so carefully build around him. But when she did, there was no stopping him, or his feelings, or so he thought. He missed Sherlock so damn much at the time, Mary understood that. She helped him through all that. He almost had come to terms with Sherlock’s death, almost, or at least that was what he was telling everyone, especially himself. He was ready to move on with his life. That is until Sherlock returned from being dead, or rather not being dead. Then all those trust issues came racing back like crazy. And of course Mary of all people convinced him to forgive Sherlock. Forgive him again, and again, and again. And then…  
  
  
‘You’re mad’ Sherlock concluded.  
  
‘Hell yes I’m mad’ John turned round to face Sherlock who was now on one foot to try and put some trousers on. ‘What if I hadn’t come in time to yank you out of the tub, hum? What then? You could have drowned you daft fool!’  
  
‘Surely you’d know I would not have let it come that far’ Sherlock arched his eyebrow and after drying of his back put on his dark red shirt.  
  
‘Christ Sherlock, I don’t even want to know why! You scared the shit out of me, again I might add’.  
  
‘Christ has nothing to do with it what so ever, he could walk on water, not lie under it for a long period of time as far as I know.’ Sherlock turned round to face his angry friend. John’s mouth opened and shut again and then opened again. ‘Your mouth John’ Sherlock pointed out as he slipped into his shoes and tied the laces.  
  
‘Damn you Sherlock Holmes’ John whispered as he sank down in his chair. ‘You think you can get away with everything but one of these days… One of these days it will all catch up with you. And you’ll have to wait and see if I will be still around to be there for you then.’  
  
Sherlock stopped in the middle of putting on his jacket, one arm in one out and stared at John. ‘I’m sorry John’ he then softly said in his low baritone voice. ‘I didn’t know it would upset you this much’.  
  
‘That’s just it’ John said ‘You don’t think, you just do, but alright I’ll take the bait this time, what was the experiment about?’  
  
‘No, it’s alright John’ Sherlock put his jacket on and sat himself down in the chair opposite of John. ‘You don’t have to ask’.  
  
‘I do actually, or you’ll sulk all evening long’  
  
‘I don’t sulk, John, I resent that’ Sherlock raised his eyebrow again.  
  
‘Yes you do, but fine, let’s give it a rest, eh? Tell me about the experiment and for God’s sake don’t ever do that again. Texting me to come home immediately because of an emergency while I’m in the middle of a colonoscopy is one thing, but to find you in a bath looking like a dead man is quite another.’  
  
Sherlock looked at his friend, his only friend he might add, and felt more sorry then he could say. He thought it was funny at the time, and yes an experiment, he thought John would laugh with him and they could plunge into this next case he was working on, but he couldn’t have been more mistaken. He saw how his friend looked at him, his face still in shock. He stood up and walked into the small kitchen. ‘Tea?’ he asked. He heard a sigh coming from the other room. Then a ‘Yes please’. And he put the kettle on.  
  
When he had given John his cup of tea and sat down with the other cup he was anxious to talk to John about this case, but he waited till John drank his tea and calmed down a bit. He watched John with his tea, eyes closed, taking small sips at a time. He could see the anxiety fall of him with every sip. Finally John opened his eyes, sat upright and looked at Sherlock. ‘Okay, let’s hear it.’  
  
‘Are you sure?’ Sherlock looked him in the eyes, John looked tired. He had bags under his eyes from not sleeping enough or working long hours, probably both. He needed a good proper shave. His shirt was messy, all wrinkled and a bit smudgy too which was not something John would normally wear like this. His hand was shaking a bit, Sherlock noticed. It never did anymore, only when… only when he was under a lot of stress.  
Oh damn, Sherlock thought. I am so sorry John. I did it to you again.  
  
  
Sherlock took a sip of his own tea and thought back at the past couple of months. It had been very hard on John. He was quite smitten or so he thought by Mary, even to the point he was thinking it would take him a step further into the relationship. But then ‘the incident’ happened. Or so John called it now. If he named it anything. He rather not talked about it at all. As it turned out Mary was conspiring with his arch enemy Jim Moriarty. John met Mary Morstan when she started working for him as his nurse in his practice. She helped him through some rough patches coping with Sherlock’s death, or fake death as it later turned out to be anyway. Slowly he started to have feelings for her. She was the one to tell him to forgive Sherlock when he returned. And help him through all that again. She was nice enough, but Sherlock also thought there was something about her. He couldn’t put a finger on it. This obviously irritated the hell out of him. Of course he did his research and eventually found that she had worked for the CIA, did some undercover work for them. In short, she was quite a killer, our Mary. In retrospect Sherlock should have known there was more. Much more. He blamed himself for not having protected John enough. Moriarty was always searching for ways to hurt him; he now just had found a way to hurt him through John by using Mary. Why Mary let him use her, he still had no clue. The fact of the matter is she did, willingly. She even did so with a big smile on her face afterwards. At least she did to Sherlock’s face, not to John’s. She looked relatively sad when John found out, the final moment there on that rooftop at St. Bart’s of all places Moriarty could pick, he choose that one, the one he forced Sherlock to jump off on a few years ago while John was watching, thinking Sherlock was going to die.  
Then John burst through the door and saw Mary holding Sherlock at gunpoint. While Moriarty was having a field day. He danced around Sherlock, around Mary and as soon as John showed up, he laughed and pulled Mary close and kissed her passionately. Oh the look on his friend’s face. He would never forget that look. The disappointment, the betrayal. His gun pointing then at Moriarty then at Mary, not knowing what to do. Mary tried to lie her way out of it, but of course she couldn’t. It was quite obvious she and Moriarty where in it together from the start. And when the police helicopter appeared and she got arrested she had no choice but to confess. It nearly broke John.  
  
  
All of this was going through Sherlock’s mind while he was watching his friend opposite him. It worried him how John looked. It was strange to feel that way. He never felt anything for anyone before. He learnt that early on in life, not to feel, or simply not to care. It could only hurt him. Caring was not an advantage or so his brother Mycroft always said. But this was different. John was different. Ever since he met him, it was different. Even when John was with Mary, although it was just for a few months since he had been back anyway, he felt as if he had to share John somehow. Share his friendship with someone else. Competing even. He just felt an uneasiness sometimes inside his stomach; he didn’t know how to describe it. Maybe it was some sort of jealous feeling? He didn’t know another word for it. He dismissed it as soon as it entered his head. It was ridiculous. Absurd. Jealous, why on earth would he be? Nothing of the sort, he wouldn’t have it. But at night as he lay in bed, and couldn’t sleep, his mind overactive, he couldn’t help thinking the same things over and over again. John, John, John.  
  
‘Sherlock? The case Lestrade told you about? Why you were head under water in the tub? Are you going to tell me or am I supposed to guess?’  
  
Sherlock didn’t hear a word John had said. He was still thinking and staring.  
  
‘Sherlock? What’s wrong? Are you alright? See, that’s what happens if you keep your head under water to long! No oxygen to your brain. Sherlock!’ John shouted almost and touched Sherlock’s arm.  
  
Sherlock was startled; ‘Hum, what? Did you say something? Ah, yes, well. Sorry about that.’ He cleared his throat. ‘Well, yes, this case.’ Sherlock ruffled his hair. ‘Well, Lestrade phoned me and I’ve been to the morgue already to see the body. Lestrade thinks it may be suicide but I don’t. Why, you ask.’ As he saw John’s mouth starting to move: ‘Simple really. One: Bruises. Odd ones. Two: Way too much water in the lungs than with a normal drowning. Three: The location where the man was found. Floating under Blackfriars Bridge.’ Sherlock looked triumphant. ‘Don’t you see?’  
  
‘No I don’t actually’ John answered. ‘Why is that important?’  
  
‘Because he also had salt water in his lungs John!’ Sherlock jumped up and walked round enthusiastically, his arms in the air. ‘The body was drowned in the sea of course, held there reluctantly, so maybe thrown of a ship or something, holding him in place with I don’t know what yet. But the bruises, John, the bruises, are saying it all.’  
  
‘And why were you in that tub again for so long?’ John still looking a bit irritated trying hard to put the tub incident aside, but still couldn’t.  
  
‘Because I wanted to know how long a man can be under water without having to come up for air. Of course it entirely depends on one’s lung capacity, I realise that. Mine isn’t quite that bad, since it took you, I’d say about ten minutes to get here?’  
  
‘Fifteen and you did breathe, didn’t you?’ John got really upset again seeing Sherlock’s face as he nodded. ‘Damn you, Sherlock, really, damn you!’ John walked away, putting on his coat and scarf, opened the door and walked out.  
  
Sherlock stood there baffled for a moment and then grabbed his own coat and scarf and rushed down the stairs. He ran after him putting on his coat at the same time trying to catch up. ‘John, John wait up. John I’m sorry, John stop!’ He grabbed him by the arm, trying to stop him. John turned around with a face like thunder.  
  
‘You’d best leave me alone now Sherlock’ he said with a clenched jaw. ‘I’m not in the mood for your sick mind games.’  
  
‘John, I am sorry, I really am. I thought it amusing at the time; I wanted to make you laugh.’  
  
‘Oh, right. Ha ha see, I’m laughing. Very funny indeed Sherlock.’ John brought his face very close to Sherlock’s. ‘You might not have noticed Sherlock, but in the past six months I’ve been betrayed by the woman I thought I was falling for and whom I just was starting to trust which is a lot for me, since I have trust issues as my psychiatrist says. That same woman turned out to be an ex- CIA agent working for and with your arch enemy James Moriarty. To get back at you, they decided together to come after me! Now isn’t that a laugh! And now you, whom I thought was the one friend left in the world, is trying to make me laugh by letting me think he has drowned in the bath tub. So excuse me if I’m not amused. Excuse me if I’m not laughing because THIS IS NOT FUNNY!’ John started shouting in Sherlock’s face. He wanted to turn around and walk off again but Sherlock stopped him by taking his arm. ‘Let me go’ growled John.  
  
‘No’ Sherlock took his arm and put his other arm around John’s waist. ‘No I’m not letting go. I will never let go. You are my best friend, John. You are my only friend and I can’t stand to see you like this. I am entirely to blame. Because of me you are hurt and I can’t stand it. I lay awake at night thinking about it, I see you suffering, in pain. It’s all over your face. You try to burry yourself in your work and it’s not helping, now is it? Please, John, let me help you. I should have protected you better, I should have found out more about Mary, warned you earlier. I know I did but I only knew of her CIA background not the rest of it, I should have. Now you are so depressed all the time, I tried to help with involving you in this case, I’m sorry, I have no sense of what you need apparently.’ Sherlock looked down, feelings of guilt swooped over him and he couldn’t stop it. He looked at John again; his hurt and angry face and the tears welled up in his eyes. ‘I’m sorry’ he whispered.  
  
Sherlock let go of John, turned around and started to walk back to their home. He felt like he let John down in every possible way. Tears were filling up his eyes as he entered the hallway of 221B Baker Street. He closed the door and leaned against the wall with his eyes shut. Before long the door opened again and John entered. Sherlock was still leaning against the wall and opened his eyes. John walked up to him.  
John looked up at Sherlock and saw his guilt stricken face. His eyes filling with tears. Sherlock and tears. He has changed since we first met, he thought. The anger melted away when he saw his friend like that.  
  
‘It’s alright’ he softly said. ‘I’m not angry anymore. But please don’t do that to me again, okay?’  
Sherlock looked hesitant and that scared John even more. That was nothing like the pompous, self-confident Sherlock he normally saw. He took his hand and led him upstairs. ‘Come we’ll have another cup of tea and talk some more’ he said. He guided Sherlock to the stairs and walked behind him. ‘Yeah, go on, I’m right behind you.’  
  
‘Everything alright dear?’ Mrs. Hudson’s voice came from her kitchen downstairs.  
  
‘Yes mrs. Hudson everything is fine thanks. Have a good night.’  
  
John shut the door behind them with a bang. Damn. Mrs. Hudson was a nice enough woman but nosy to a fault. He turned around to face Sherlock who still wasn’t himself. ‘Sherlock? What’s wrong? Why are you taking this so much at heart? It’s not like you.’  
  
Sherlock stood in the middle of the room fiddling with his scarf.  
‘I let you down John not only just now, but ever since we first met I’m doing things that hurt you, that cause you harm. And I’m so sorry.’ His voice broke and again John saw tears well up in Sherlock’s eyes. With one step he was next to Sherlock and took his arm.  
  
Sherlock held John’s arm and his other arm was around John’s waist. ‘I lay awake at night John. Contemplating cause as you know my mind doesn’t stop thinking, not for one bloody second. And all those things go around in my mind what I’ve done to you, all damn night long. And still I thought it funny to step into that bloody bath tub to have a laugh or to make you laugh. I see the way you look, your appearance. You haven’t slept for days yourself, you look terrible, no offence, and you have bags under your eyes, you’re clothes are a mess, you neglect your duties and above all, you tolerate me. Not much but you do. And I do this to you? What kind of friend am I John? What kind I ask you?’ Sherlock started sobbing softly.  
  
  
John looked up at him and was quite shocked at what he saw. He never would have believed it. Sherlock Holmes sobbing because of him. He grabbed hold of him and hugged him tight. ‘It’s going to be alright Sherlock, don’t you worry. I’m going to be alright too. You didn’t let me down. Other people did, you were always there for me, always.’ He felt Sherlock’s hands grabbing his coat. John looked at Sherlock’s shaking body, his head bent on John’s shoulder and hesitated for a brief moment but then put his hand on Sherlock’s curls.  
He whispered: ‘It will be alright Sherlock, I promise it will. Please stop it, you’re scaring me.’  
  
Sherlock’s hands were still clinging on to John’s coat for dear life. He tilted his head and faced John. His face wet, eyes a bit puffed and red and John thought, his eyes looked scared. John had never seen Sherlock looking scared of anything. ‘Sherlock? Please tell me what’s the matter? I’ve never seen you like this before, you’re frightening me.’  
  
Sherlock shook his head. ‘I can’t’ he whispered. ‘I just can’t. Forgive me John, please.’ He took of his coat and scarf and walked away to the bathroom to clean up his face. Leaving John baffled.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I'm aware 'my Sherlock' is a bit out of character. Somewhat more unstable. Trust me, it will be alright. Love will do that to you, sometimes. If you bottle things up long enough...

_‘When you try your best but you don't succeed  
When you get what you want but not what you need  
When you feel so tired but you can't sleep  
Stuck in reverse’_ _(Coldplay-Fix you)_  


Sherlock moved quietly to his bedroom while John was making another cup of tea. He was feeling embarrassed about his outburst which was nothing like him. A good night’s rest would do the trick, he thought, getting into bed. He heard John doing dishes and with a deep sigh he covered himself with his blankets and closed his eyes, knowing very well he wouldn’t sleep until his mind would settle a bit. Which it hardly ever did anyway. At least he would try to get some rest, God knows he needed it.  
  
John finished doing the dishes and walked over to Sherlock’s bedroom door. Again, this was new for Sherlock, going to bed early. John was a bit nervous about the whole situation. He didn’t know what to do about it. Mycroft one’s asked him to report anything unusual. He never did, of course he didn’t. He was no spy! But now Sherlock was like this, he couldn’t help himself but thinking of giving Mycroft a call.  
John walked into the bathroom and looked at his reflection in the mirror. Sherlock was right of course. He looked tired and there were bags under his eyes. No wonder, now was it? The way things were going for him lately. He opened the bathroom cupboard and got some toothpaste and his brush. Suddenly his eyes got a glimpse of a small container which he hadn’t seen before. While brushing his teeth he took the container in his hand and turned it around and around. After brushing his teeth he tried to open the small container. The lid was screwed on very tight and when John finally got it open it almost flew out of his hands. Inside where dozens of small white pills.  
  
‘O Christ Sherlock’ John muttered. ‘Not again.’ With a sigh John screw the lid back on and with the container in hand he walked straight to Sherlock’s bedroom. He knocked first but when there was no answer he opened the door without knocking again. A large pile of sheets and blankets lay on the bed. John thought Sherlock must be somewhere inside there but when he came nearer he saw the bed was empty.  
  
‘Sherlock?’ John knew he must have disappeared while he was in the bathroom. He turned to walk out of the bedroom and in the darkness of the room he saw Sherlock sitting on a chair in the far corner wearing his pyjamas and his robe. He was barefoot.  
  
‘Sherlock, are you alright? Why aren’t you in bed sleeping? You must be tired from not sleeping for days!’  
  
Slowly Sherlock turned his head to look at John. His eyes red en swollen. His pupils where dilated.  
  
‘My God Sherlock what have you done!’ John cried out.  
Sherlock couldn’t answer him anymore, he just stared at him.  
‘I’m so sorry Sherlock, but I’m calling Mycroft’ John said. ‘You’ve taken pills haven’t you?’  
  
Again, Sherlock didn’t respond, he just looked at John standing there being all frantic. John took his phone and dialled the number. As he walked away to make the call, Sherlock followed him with just his eyes, as if his body could not respond anymore.  
  
  
‘Why didn’t you call me right away then dr Watson?’ Mycroft Holmes stood in Sherlock’s bedroom staring down at his brother shaking his head.  
‘Well never mind that now, we’ll take care of it straight away, little brother; it’s going to be alright’.  
Mycroft shook his head a bit and leaned on his umbrella. ‘Right, well, we’ll have to get him dressed now don’t we, come on Sherlock, up on your feet.’  
  
It took quite some time to dress Sherlock but when they were done Mycroft and John took him down to Mycroft’s car.  
  
‘Where are you taking him?’ John asked.  
  
‘He won’t be gone long, don’t you worry, he’ll be back on his feet before you know it. He is needed you know, but I probably shouldn’t mention that right about now. Maybe later. I’ll call on you tomorrow, and we’ll talk.’ Mycroft put Sherlock in his car and went in himself, nodded at John and then they drove off, leaving John alone at the curve.  
  
The next day Mycroft arrived early at 221B Baker Street. John was just making breakfast and tea when he heard the knock at his door and Mycroft entered.  
  
‘I just thought I let myself in’ Mycroft said.  
  
‘Good morning to you too’ John replied. ‘How is Sherlock?’  
  
‘Ah well, our boy is in rehab as one so calls it. Mind if I sit down?’ Mycroft sat himself down on Sherlock’s chair before John could answer. ‘He got himself in a little pickle I’m afraid. Couldn’t sleep for ages, so he thought it a good idea to take some pills, and you know my brother, when he takes a few it usually doesn’t stop there, with a few I mean.’  
  
John sighed. He went to the kitchen to fetch the tea and handed a cup over to Mycroft and sat himself down in his chair.  
  
‘Ah tea, thank you’ Mycroft said. ‘Well, I thought I’d come and explain some things to you. It has been quite the eventful months now haven’t they? To top it all off there is something I haven’t mentioned that I might have had to mention earlier. It’s quite nasty actually. If you’ll indulge me then I will start at the beginning.’  
  
John nodded and sipped his tea waiting impatiently.  
  
‘Our parents had once three sons’ Mycroft started. ‘Me being the oldest, Sherlock the youngest brother, but there has been another brother between me and Sherlock. The boy was about 3 years old when he was abducted from the playground and never found again. My parents of course where devastated and mother cried every day and night. I can remember that much, I was about six years old. Sherlock wasn’t even born then. A few years after Sherlock was born, they found the man who had taken our brother. His name was …‘ Mycroft took a pause.  
‘Gilbert Moriarty’  
  
John who was just taking a sip of his tea, choked. He coughed and said; ‘You said what?’  
  
  
‘You heard me the first time, John’ Mycroft said softly.  
Our brother James was abducted by a cruel man, who had made our brother even crueller then himself. Although we knew he had our brother, he was nowhere to be found. We all grew up, without ever hearing or seeing our brother ever again. Until..’  
  
‘Until he became Sherlock’s arch enemy’ John squealed.  
  
‘Indeed’ Mycroft shook his head. ‘I let him get away. The first time, he and Sherlock where on that rooftop, he made Sherlock fake his own death. And faked his own too. He had help with that you know. As did Sherlock with his of course but that’s all water under the bridge. We never thought of keeping an eye on the rooftop, we were just concentrating on Sherlock just as we should be. We didn’t know he had help faking his own death on the rooftop whilst we were busy with Sherlock.’  
  
Mycroft was talking like John wasn’t even there. But John knew of whom Mycroft was talking. ‘You mean Mary. He had help, even then, from Mary.’  
  
Mycroft nodded. ‘I’m afraid so, dr Watson. I’m very sorry about that. We didn’t know.’  
  
‘So you and Sherlock keep telling me’ John said with an angry tone in his voice.  
  
‘And if we say that, we mean that’ Mycroft looked at John. ‘You seem angry, dr Watson. I can assure you we didn’t know.’  
  
‘You’re practically the bloody government, you should know everything that goes on’ John uttered.  
  
‘John, when I helped Sherlock fake his death, I did so to protect you meanly, his friend, and some other acquaintances  
of his. I didn’t know there was someone like Mary that helped him, Moriarty, fake his death. I didn’t know until after sometime after your marriage to her. I got an anonymous tip and that’s why I could be there in time with the police helicopter to save all of you from that rooftop, the second time on that same damn rooftop. I didn’t particularly like seeing Sherlock being held by gunpoint by Moriarty and Mary. Or having to watch you seeing Mary being with Moriarty, you have to believe me on that. I just was glad Lestrade and I where there on time. James is... well we tested his DNA and he is indeed our brother.  
  
Mother and Father have mixed feelings about it all. And frankly so do I. Sherlock doesn’t know it yet. He is not in a shape to know anything at the moment. He blames himself for everything you know. He blames himself for putting your life at risk, for making your life quite messy and what does my dear brother do when it all gets to him? Well, his mind goes on and on you know that. He can’t sleep, he keeps on thinking. So, he needs to escape. He seems to think he can escape with drugs, or pills or whatever will ‘fix him’.’ Mycroft sighed. ‘Poor little brother’.  
  
John looked white as a sheet by the time Mycroft had finished speaking.  
‘You knew Moriarty was your long lost kidnapped brother who was after revenge on his younger brother? And you did nothing about it? You knew my wife had ‘something’ to do about it? And you did nothing? You didn’t even warn me? ‘O John, by the way, your wife? She is a criminal, shagging with Jim Moriarty who is my brother by the way’ Damn you Mycroft!’  
  
Mycroft looked shocked at John’s outburst.  
  
‘O yes and did I mention the fact that you let him escape again too?’ John screamed at Mycroft. ‘Or was that all on purpose?’  
  
‘What on earth do you mean?’ Mycroft tried to remain calm and dignified as always but he felt a little uneasy at the accusations.

‘THIS!’ John shouted holding up today’s paper which said;  
  
 **Moriarty out on bail.**  
  
 _James Moriarty, the man who was imprisoned not long ago was released today on bail. Moriarty, the man of whom is said he is not on good terms with consulting detective Sherlock Holmes, was in prison because of threats against Sherlock Holmes. His accomplice Mary Morstan is still in prison for a life sentence for murder charges. She shot and killed a police officer last spring._  
  
Mycroft’s face turned a whiter shade of pale when he read the article in the newspaper. ‘Excuse me’ he said after reading it. ‘I have to make some phone calls and look in on Sherlock.’  
  
‘Tell him, Mycroft’ John growled almost. ‘You tell him or I will’.  
  
Mycroft walked towards the door and turned around. ‘Don’t worry’ he said. ‘I will.’  
  
Mycroft was driving through London in his car with chauffeur and had just made some phone calls. He had to talk to Sherlock before he heard this from someone. He thought back to when Sherlock had just killed Magnussen and had to go out of the country. He was talking about what to do about his brother with Lady Smallwood and some other highly influential people.  
He had pleaded a case for his brother. There would always be a time when they needed Sherlock Holmes after all. Sir Edwin thought it was some expression of familial sentiment towards Sherlock. Although he was probably right, Mycroft wasn’t the man to admit such a thing. He had said: ‘Don’t be absurd. I am not given to outbursts of brotherly compassion. You know what happened to the other one.’ Sir Edwin was quieted quickly enough, but by ‘the other one’ he was referring to Moriarty of course, his long lost brother. After James Moriarty had tried to take everyone’s attention, especially Sherlock’s, by breaking into the Tower of London, he was arrested, but Mycroft had let him go. He couldn’t tell anyone now that he knew then, all those years ago, that James was his brother. Mycroft knew Moriarty had known they were family, but he didn’t know at the time, at least he didn’t think so. But Mycroft had made an enormous mistake by letting him go, almost at cost of his little brother’s life. A mistake he would never make again, as long as he lived. Sherlock may have thought in the past that Mycroft didn’t have any brotherly feelings in his bones; he himself knew better and wanted to do anything to make it up to Sherlock.  
  
The car stopped at a clinic and Mycroft got out of the car. The doctor was waiting for him at the door.  
  
‘Good afternoon’ Mycroft nodded.  
  
‘I still feel it is way too early to take Sherlock home with you’ the doctor started immediately. ‘He has been here no longer than 12 hours for God’s sake!’  
  
‘Well’ Mycroft said walking past the doctor. ‘It really isn’t up to you, now is it, doctor?’ The look the doctor got from Mycroft made him close his mouth as he had opened it to start protesting again.  
  
‘Good, now show me his room please’ Mycroft started walking and the doctor was already catching up.  
  
As they entered Sherlock’s room Mycroft turned around and softly said; ‘Please leave us.’ The doctor closed the door behind him and left.  
  
Sherlock was lying on a bed staring at the ceiling. He didn’t seem to have heard Mycroft entering the room. Mycroft approached the bed, took a chair and sat down. ‘Hello Sherlock’ he said.  
  
Sherlock slowly turned his head towards his brother. His eyes weren’t so puffy anymore and he seemed a bit more relaxed then the night before.  
  
‘How are you?’ Mycroft asked.  
  
Sherlock smirked.  
  
‘Ah’ Mycroft said. ‘You’re being yourself again. Good boy.’  
  
Sherlock turned his head away. ‘Go away Mycroft. Go and annoy someone else will you?’  
  
‘I wish I could brother dear, but we need you.’  
  
‘What now? Can’t I be away for one night? Whose dog is missing this time? One of her Majesty’s corgi’s? So sorry to disappoint her, I’m not feeling up to it.’  
  
‘Sherlock! Behave! No I have to talk to you. I am so sorry I waited for as long as I have. But please hear me out. Then you’ll hopefully understand my reason for waiting so long. Maybe I should have brought dr Watson with me.’  
  
Sherlock rose and sat upright. ‘What do you mean? What has it to do with John?’  
  
‘I just left John’ Mycroft said. ‘What I’m about to tell you, I told him this morning. I wanted to tell you sooner, but there never seemed a proper time for it. You were faking your death and all, or just all the dreadful things that have happened lately. You must know I am very sorry I didn’t tell you sooner and the reason is to protect you.’  
  
‘Mycroft, just tell me now!’ Sherlock jumped up and almost shook Mycroft by the shoulders.  
  
Mycroft told him the whole story, he told earlier that day to John. All about that Moriarty was being their long lost brother, about their parents knowing, about since when Mycroft knew it although he left out the part about precisely how long he knew. He observed carefully Sherlock’s face as he was telling the whole truth, well almost the whole truth.  
  
Sherlock was quite in shock, he could tell. He felt the urge to put his hand on his brother’s shoulder to comfort him. He didn’t. ‘I’m sorry Sherlock, I really am. I just wanted to protect you, if you didn’t know, he wouldn’t know either I thought. You would be safe; all I ever cared about was your safety.’  
  
‘You… should… have… told… me…’ Sherlock said very slowly with a hoarse voice and clenched jaw.  
  
‘Look at the state you are in, Sherlock’ Mycroft said. ‘Look at the state you were in the past months, maybe even years. You were hardly capable of hearing this too, now where you?’ Mycroft could bring himself to putting his hand on Sherlock’s arm. ‘I know it has been hard on you, being with him, having to see him with ‘that woman’ I know, I see it every time I look in your eyes when I visit.’  
  
‘I don’t know what you’re on about’ Sherlock still talked with his jaw clenched.  
  
‘Yes you do, don’t deny it Sherlock. You know I’m smarter then you are. I see things, I know things. You love him. I see that. I don’t know if he sees that, but I do. I do wish for your sake he saw it too. You’d do anything for him. Look at what you’ve already done for him over the past years!’  
  
Sherlock’s eyes filled with tears. ‘Stop it Mycroft. Just stop it.’ He whispered. ‘I can’t take it anymore, none of this. My mind won’t stop; I have nothing left to live for, now this bloody news, everybody knew but me. Even mum and dad knew, they probably know what you’re saying now too aren’t they?’  
  
‘Mother does yes, she’s the smart one, always has been. She let it slip ones to me. Father looked at her and smiled and said; ‘Nothing passes by your mother you know.’ and went on reading the paper.’  
  
‘Have you told him?’ Sherlock looked up at Mycroft like a puppy with wide open eyes.  
  
‘Of course I haven’t! What on earth do you think of me? That’s your job. And I wouldn’t wait with that if I were you. Dr Watson is quite a mess himself you know.’  
  
Sherlock glanced at Mycroft. ‘John doesn’t know and John will not know! No Mycroft I am adamant about that! I don’t think he feels the same way. He had a wife for God’s sake! You don’t tell him either! Understood!? And I can’t believe we are having this conversation! Bloody hell!’  
  
Sherlock leapt out his bed and went for the cupboard to put his clothes on. He went into the bathroom and when he came back he was wearing his suit. ‘Well, come on then? Let’s go! I need a ride back to Baker Street don’t I?’  
  
Mycroft handed him his coat and scarf and they went out the door. ‘Are you sure you aren’t going to take any more drugs, pills whatever?’  
  
Sherlock sighed ‘No never sure of that. But I promise to try to be a good boy this time.’ He looked over at his brother as they got in the car. ‘Thank you Mycroft, really.’ And when he saw Mycroft looking surprised he said; ‘I know I’m a bother sometimes. I’m sorry for that. Thank you for trying to help me. And that’s it for the brotherly feelings for now.’ He smirked and the car drove off to Baker Street.


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock and John are sometimes behaving like an old married couple aren't they? John fussing over Sherlock, the things Sherlock says.. But when it matters, they are there for eachother, all the time, no matter what.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> In the beginning of this chapter you can read I was clearly inspired by Pawtal's A Finger Slip, which I was reading at the time of writing my own fic. I couldn't help myself but to hint at that even if it is just John reading on his laptop. (bit weird actually, that would mean he was reading about his younger self, but hey this is a fanfic, anything could happen! ) ;-)

_Well, now I get low and I get high,  
_ _And if I can't get either, I really try.  
_ _Got the wings of heaven on my shoes,  
_ _I'm a dancin' man and I just can't lose._ __  
You know, it's all right, it's okay, __  
I'll live to see another day.  
 _We can try to understand  
_ _The New York Times' effect on man._ _(BeeGees-Stayin' Alive)_

When Sherlock woke up it was already midday. He never slept this late. He put on his robe and slowly walked to the living room where he saw John sitting at the table with his laptop reading.

‘What are you reading?’ Sherlock asked while walking through to the kitchen to make himself and John a cup of tea.

‘Oh, nothing’ John was startled and closed his laptop rather quickly.

Sherlock raised his eyebrow as he noticed how John started to blush slightly. ‘Nothing?’ he said while pouring water into two cups.

‘I just feel a sudden urge to text a random number, that’s all’ John mumbled.

Sherlock raised his eyebrow again. ‘John? Care to elaborate?’

‘Oh never mind Sherlock, how are you feeling?’

‘Much better than you apparently, you look like you’re getting down with something. You’re looking all flushed. You’re not getting the flue are you?’

‘Oh for God’s sake, Sherlock, no! It’s just something I’ve read on the internet okay? Let it go!’

‘I didn’t know it would upset you so much’ Sherlock said handing John his tea.  
  
Sherlock sat down in his chair and picked up the paper.

‘Anything interesting happening while I was sleeping?’ he asked John.

‘I wouldn’t read the papers if I were you’ John replied.

Sherlock turned round to face John. ‘Oh? And why is that? It would upset me to much? It would make me grab more drugs? Has my dear brother left instructions?’

‘You know that’s not it’ John jumped up and walked to his chair to face Sherlock. ‘Mycroft is just as concerned as I am, maybe even more so. You have taken a considerable amount of sleeping pills after all!’

‘I don’t see what why you are all making such a big deal out of it all’ Sherlock sighed shaking his head. ‘It’s not as if I hadn’t taken it before.’

‘Right and that makes it all right now does it. The great Sherlock Holmes can bloody well do whatever the hell he wants without caring about the people he’s hurting in the process is it? “Caring isn’t an advantage John” remember!? Well Sherlock it bloody well is! Damn you!’

‘Everything all right dears?’ Mrs Hudson walked in without knocking. ‘I heard shouting and I thought I’d come looking what was going on. Oh Sherlock, you’re back! Oh dear me, I was so worried about you! How are you?’

‘I’m fine Mrs Hudson. Don’t you worry about me?’ Sherlock got up. ‘I have to get dressed, if you’ll excuse me.’Sherlock walked to his bedroom and closed the door behind him.

‘Are you sure he is all right, John? I was ever so worried.’

‘He is his old self again Mrs H.’ John grunted. ‘I wouldn’t worry if I were you. Now if you’ll excuse me, I have some work to do.’

                                                                                                    _________________________

 

‘John I am sure he will be all right. It is just the last remainders of the pills in his system that’s all.’ Mycroft’s voice didn’t sound too sure of that over the phone.

‘I don’t know who you are trying to convince Mycroft but I am keeping a close eye on him the next 24 hours I can tell you that!’

‘That is always a good idea, now with James Moriarty at large. I’m afraid of what he might do actually.’

‘Is that my brother you are talking to?’ Sherlock stepped out of the bathroom with his hair still wet, a towel in his hands to dry his curls.

‘Yes and you’re dripping on your suit’ John pointed.

‘Give me the phone please John’ Sherlock’s hand reached out ignoring John’s remark.

John handed him his phone. ‘Mycroft, how about mother and father?’ Sherlock started the conversation with his brother.

‘They are looked after, don’t you worry. I made sure of that. How are you feeling, Sherlock?’

‘I’m fine, Mycroft. Why does everyone keep asking me that?’

‘Because dear brother, you have taken a rather large sum of pills and have spent the night in a clinic. It is because of Dr Watson that you are home again, I don’t think the doctors would have approved otherwise. Furthermore I want you to take it easy for a couple of days. No taking cases. I know you want to’ Mycroft heard his younger brother taking a breath to protest. ‘But listen for once if you will. Please, do this for me. And for John’ Mycroft added in a soft toned voice. ‘Promise?’

Sherlock sighed; ‘I promise’ he then said rolling his eyes at John.

‘Good boy’ Mycroft said. ‘I’ll be in touch’

Sherlock handed the phone over to John.

‘What was that about?’ John asked.

‘Oh just my brother being obnoxious as usual’ Sherlock sat down in his chair. ‘He wants me to be bored out of my skull. I can’t do any cases and have to sit here and twiddle my thumbs I guess.’ Sherlock tapped his fingers on the side of the chair.

‘Sherlock? You have read today’s paper?’ John looked at Sherlock as if he suspected an outburst at any moment.

‘I haven’t, should I have? Sherlock picked up the paper and read:

 **Moriarty strikes again**  
Sherlock read the article with increasing astonishment. When he was finished reading about the next ‘prank’ Moriarty had been allowed to make, he turned to John.  
  
‘Why?’ he just said.

‘You mean why Mycroft didn’t say?’ John replied. ‘I don’t know; I just didn’t want to hold anything back that’s all. I don’t want you to relapse I don’t want to see you going through all that again; I mean like yesterday. But you must know what you’re up against, don’t you?’

Sherlock nodded; ‘Thank you John’ He looked John in the eyes, all his feelings for John rushed through him but he pushed that aside. Now was not the time.  
He took his phone out of his pocket and called Lestrade.  
‘Greg, let me do something, anything. I know what Mycroft must have told you, I’m not ill, if you all want me to go back to that again, than by all means, let me sit here do nothing.’

‘Fuck Sherlock, Mycroft clearly stated he would have my head if I let you. What am I to do now?’ Greg Lestrade thought for a moment and then said; ‘Fine I’ll be there in a few’

‘Thank you’ Sherlock put his phone aside and grinned at John.

‘You’re full of yourself’ John couldn’t help but feel admiration for his friend even if it was unwarranted.

‘Oh shut up’ Sherlock couldn’t help but grin at his friend. He couldn’t sit cooped up all day at home and do nothing. That would surely drive everyone mad and made him grab his pills. Any pills as Mycroft would have made sure there where none to be found in the apartment.

Not long after the call to Lestrade he came running up the stairs. ‘Well, how are you feeling?’ he asked as he came through the door.

‘I wish everyone would stop asking me that’ Sherlock looked cross. ‘Now for more important stuff than my petty little things; the other one.’

Lestrade looked at Sherlock as if he didn’t understand what Sherlock was taking about. ‘The other one what?’ he said.  
‘The other brother pay attention will you Greg? Don’t say my dear old brother hasn’t told you about Moriarty being our long lost brother now.’

Lestrade suddenly looked white as a sheet. ‘What? You’re joking!’

‘I am certainly not, I can assure you. I wish I was. John please if you will…’ Sherlock walked out of the room to the bathroom as John explained to Greg Lestrade the whole story of James Moriarty being the long lost third Holmes brother.

‘Fucking hell’ Lestrade stood there with his hand to his mouth shaking his head. ‘Mycroft could have told me that!’ he kept shaking his head in disbelief.

When Sherlock came back into the room, his phone rang.‘Hello?’

‘How are you feeling, Sherlock? All better now? Oh shucks you shouldn’t take pills now should you. I’m going to have to take better care of my baby brother.’

‘Moriarty’ Sherlock growled the name in his phone.

Lestrade and John both turned round in shock at the same time to see Sherlock’s angry face.

‘What do you want?’ Sherlock asked.

‘Well, nothing more than your wellbeing dear brother’ Moriarty laughed.

‘Stop calling me that’ Sherlock clenched his jaw as he spoke.

‘Why should I? You are my brother after all aren’t you? How is our mother? Oh wait, I see her myself. Have to go. Take care and don’t do drugs now!’

Sherlock stared at his phone when he heard the disconnected tone. Then he looked at John and Lestrade.

‘Well?’ Lestrade said. ‘What did he say? Sherlock?’

Sherlock whispered ‘He is at my parents’ house’

Lestrade quickly took his phone and started calling and walked downstairs waving some sign to John and Sherlock. Sherlock didn’t notice he just stood there, staring at his phone.  
  
‘He’s at my parents’ house, John’ he said again.

And when he looked up, John could see Sherlock wasn’t his old self yet after all.


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Moriarty has done some things in the past but this ... 
> 
> I'm currently writing on more chapters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm aware 'my' Sherlock is a somewhat different Sherlock than we all are used to. I'm not sure why I made him like that, more vunerable that is. It must have it's reasons.

_Cause since I've come on home_

_Well, my body's been a mess_

_And I've missed your ginger hair_

_And the way you like to dress_

_Won't you come on over_

_Stop makin’ a fool out of me (Amy Whinehouse-Valerie)_

 

The dusk was falling rapidly as they drove through the countryside. Sherlock was sitting next to John who was doing the driving. As John looked to his right he saw his clenched jaw and the fiddling of his fingers. He could understand his nervousness. If it was concerning his parents he would be a mess too. Mycroft had been warned but he didn’t know if he was coming to the house.

‘We’re almost there’ John said to reassure Sherlock, which of course didn’t work. One glimpse at his left and he saw Sherlock biting his nails. ‘Stop doing that’ he said putting his hand on Sherlock’s. Sherlock looked at him with panic in his eyes.

‘Please hurry John’ he whispered. John nodded.

  
As they approached The Holmes’ cottage they could see that the police were already on site. The emergency vehicle lights were flashing from a great distance. Sherlock shifted in his seat.

  
‘O dear God’ he mumbled under his breath.

John had almost never seen Sherlock like this. It was as if there was a completely different man sitting beside him. A very unsure person, so unlike the man he knew. For a brief moment John wondered how that could be. How could the man he looked up to, and he made sure he never said that to Sherlock, and admired really, a man so sure of himself, so confident, become such an unsure and self-conscious person? He didn’t understand that. After all this, he knew he had to talk with Sherlock about it. He wasn’t certain how to start that conversation though. One couldn’t just say to ones best friend: ‘Well what the bloody hell is the matter with you all of a sudden? One day you’re up, the next you’re down. If I didn’t know any better I’d say you’re… ‘

Oh fuck… John glanced over at Sherlock. He wasn’t. He couldn’t be. Was he? Why didn’t he think of that before? He should talk about this with Mycroft, maybe he knew. Was Sherlock in love, but in love with whom? John felt uneasy all of a sudden.  
He didn’t like the idea that Sherlock was in love actually.  
He couldn’t be this upset because it was Moriarty pulling another stunt. Naturally it involved his parents and that would have a lot to do with it, but Sherlock was always so calm and collected, even in cases like this, parents or no parents. No, this was a different matter entirely. He knew Sherlock long enough to know so.

Pondering about it all didn’t help though and they had arrived at the cottage. The car hadn’t stopped yet and Sherlock had already opened the car door and jumped out. He ran to the cottage only to be stopped by inspector Lestrade.

  
‘Let me through’ Sherlock growled.

‘Sorry Sherlock, I can’t do that’ Lestrade put his hand on Sherlock’s shoulder. ‘Your dad is inside with Anderson to give a statement. You’ll have to wait.’

‘Anderson? Is that the best you can do? My dad you said? What about my mother? Where is she?’

When Lestrade didn’t answer him quickly enough Sherlock looked at him and grabbed Lestrade by his coat collar.  
‘Tell me right now where my mother is, Lestrade’

John grabbed Sherlock’s arm; ‘Calm down Sherlock, I’m sure she’s alright, isn’t she, Greg?’ John looked hopeful at Greg Lestrade who was shaking his head.

‘I’m sorry, Sherlock, I really am. We were too late, I mean, he took her, I’m sure she is alright though. He wouldn’t hurt her, it’s his mother too!’

Sherlock looked shocked at those last words; ‘Don’t even mention that’ he shook his head ‘Where is Mycroft?’ He looked round.

‘Mycroft is on his way. Ah, speak of the devil… ‘

A helicopter was hovering above them and landed not far on the meadow nearby. Mycroft got out and walked towards them.

‘Lestrade, John, Sherlock’ he nodded. ‘Any news?’

Lestrade walked with Mycroft towards the cottage and filled him in with the latest. Sherlock just stood there looking a little lost John thought. ‘Sherlock? Let’s go to your dad shall we?’ Sherlock nodded and followed John to the house.

When they came inside they saw Mr Holmes sitting on the sofa holding a glass of water. ‘Oh you came’ he said with a faint smile.

‘Of course we did dad’ Sherlock collected himself and awkwardly hugged his father. Mycroft just shook his hand.

‘How are you father? Did Moriarty hurt you in any way?’

‘No, but I still cannot believe he came here or that the boy is even alive actually, it was quite a shock for your mother and me and then to see him here!’

‘What did he say, dad?’ Sherlock sat himself down next to his father and put his hand on his father’s shoulder to calm him down. John noticed this rather nice and soft gesture of Sherlock and couldn’t help but smile at the sight of it.

‘Like I just explained to detective Anderson over here, I really can’t remember much he said but he came bursting in the door all of a sudden, with a gun mind you! And your mother ran towards him, she was so glad to see him you know. After all, it is our long lost son. We mustn’t forget that, boys.’ He now turned to Mycroft and Sherlock. ‘We mustn’t you know. And your mother didn’t even see the gun I gather. She just saw James. Who could blame her for that? I couldn’t. Her boy had come home. Her lost boy had finally come home.’ The tears welled up in his eyes. ‘I wanted to go to them but he pointed the gun at her, threatening to shoot her if I’d move. Then he took his phone and called someone.’

‘That was me’ Sherlock said with clenched jaw.

‘Oh? Why would he do that, Sherlock? I just don’t understand. He made a phone call and took your mother with him, saying only that I couldn’t call the police, just you or Mycroft.’

‘Which is basically the same as the police mind you’ Mycroft said sneering.

‘Not now Mycroft’ Sherlock sighed. ‘You did the right thing dad, you don’t want to provoke him, believe me.’

‘Why would he want to take only your mother, Sherlock? Why would he call you? What’s the point of doing all this?’

Sherlock took a deep breath and closed his eyes. ‘He hates me dad, I don’t know why. I… perhaps this is all to get back at me, to get even. I am after all the son who got everything he didn’t get. Maybe that’s it, maybe that’s why he hates me and I didn’t even know that, and he did.’

Sherlock opened his eyes and looked at Mycroft. ‘You knew. You knew he was alive and let him go.

‘Yes, I did’ was all Mycroft said.

‘You did?’ Mr Holmes was baffled. ‘Why Mycroft, why on earth would you? If he threatened Sherlock?’

‘You said so yourself father. He is our brother after all’

                                                                                        --------------------------------------------------------------------

 

_Hand over my face_

_I am related to my enemy_

_Our house on fire and big brother,_

_Brother tried to put the blame on me (Pearl Jam-Brother)_

 

Sherlock stood outside the cottage and lit a cigarette. He inhaled the smoke and sighed. He felt that Mycroft came up from behind him. ‘Smoking again are you?’

‘Hmm’ was all Sherlock said back.

‘Don’t mind if I do’ Mycroft answered at the question his brother never asked and he lit his own cigarette.  
They were standing there smoking in silence for a while. Then Mycroft said: ‘Look, I guess I have to apologise. If you must blame someone, blame me’

Sherlock turned to face Mycroft. ‘Well, I guess it is you we all should blame. You released him from prison after all, because you felt sorry for him or whatever reason you thought you might have had at the time’

‘You can’t blame me for all of it though’ Mycroft looked surprised Sherlock went along with his apology.

‘Oh yes I can’ Sherlock looked furious. ‘That man is threatening me ever since he’s known apparently; it would have only been fair if I’d know too! Or mother and father, so they’d been prepared for it’

‘Ah, yes, well’ Mycroft inhaled again while thinking what to say. ‘I’m sorry’ he then simply said.

‘Hmm’ Sherlock said again.

‘Your mother would not like you two smoking’ Mr Holmes said at the front door.

‘Yes well, we’re not little children anymore dad’ Sherlock threw down his cigarette and put it out. At that time his phone rang. He reached for it in his coat pocket. When he looked at the number he said; ‘It’s him’ and picked up.

‘James’ he said.

‘Well you know my number, I’m touched’ Moriarty started laughing. ‘How are you Sherlock? And how’s daddy doing? Still a bit shocked?’

‘Where is my mother?’ Sherlock just said.

‘Now, now, little brother, don’t be like that. Don’t you want to play with me? We never do that anymore. I do miss that. Well, that’s what happens if you fake deaths and throw brothers in prisons, you don’t have time to play. So, what do you say, Sherlock? Shall we play?’

‘Oh go on Moriarty, We don’t have time for games. Just tell where mother is. We all know it’s me you really want! Don’t be a bother and just tell us already’ Sherlock shouted.

‘Well if you’re going to shout I may not be going to’ Moriarty sulked. ‘Be nice Sherlock’

Sherlock took a deep breath before answering. ‘Can I talk to her please, to hear if she’s alright? At least do that’

‘Sure I can do that. O mummy…‘  
Sherlock heard muffled sounds in the background and then he heard his mother’s voice; ‘Sherlock? Is that you?’

‘Mother, are you alright? Is he treating you okay?’

‘Sherlock, oh I’m so sorry, please tell your father I’m sorry. Don’t worry dear, it’s alright, I think he won’t hurt me. But he will you, I know he will, so don’t mind me please just save yourself Sherlock. Please don’t listen… Ah!’

‘Mother! Mother, what…’

‘I just had to cut her of Sherlock. She can’t tell it all to you that would spoil our game! And what’s the fun in that?’ Moriarty laughed hysterically.

‘I swear if you hurt her, Moriarty’ Sherlock growled.

‘Oh don’t you worry your pretty little head about that brother dear. Just come to the place I will text you about in a minute. And no, you may not bring dr Watson or inspector Lestrade. So don’t spoil it for mummy.’

Sherlock heard the disconnected tone and soon after his incoming text tone. He was expected at an old abandoned factory a few miles from where he was now.  
Don’t bring dr Watson, Moriarty had said. Well he had done some stupid things in his life, faking his death being one of them, but he wasn’t going to listen to one more thing Moriarty would say to him. Not anymore. That man was not to be trusted, at all! Who knew what he would be up against once he got there.

 

They snuck out of the house. Sherlock and John drove away together under protest of Mr Holmes who wouldn’t hear of it. Mycroft finally ensured their safety. ‘Father, it is my fault after all. I will protect them, they won’t be harmed anymore, trust me’

John drove on the quite country roads. As soon as they were nearby the location Moriarty gave Sherlock, John dimed the lights. A few miles before they got there he parked the car at the side of the road.

‘Sherlock, I am not pleased at the situation. I want to come with’

‘I know John; I appreciate that but let’s just do what we agreed upon. You know he’ll probably have his thugs on the lookout so it has to be done this way’ Sherlock glanced at John. He was worried. He hesitated. Mycroft’s words were still hanging in his head. ‘You have to tell him, Sherlock’ Should he? It never seemed the right time. He might not return tonight. John seemed to feel that too. He looked as nervous as he did. ‘John’ he started. ‘John if I don’t come back; you should know…’ he couldn’t, he didn’t dare to. He saw the look in John’s eyes and something stopped him. What if he made a complete fool of himself? Idiot, he said to himself as he got out of the car. He turned to John; ‘Be careful John’ and walked away.

It was pitch black as he approached the old factory. He couldn’t hear or see anything coming from the inside of the building. The only sounds to be heard were the ones in the country, owls screeching, a dog barking, some geese flying over, the wind through the branches of the trees, but nothing from inside the factory. The moon rose from behind the trees and that was the only light there was. He was thankful for it. He knew John was nearby but still he was anxious.

He entered the factory carefully looking around. Moriarty said to be unarmed but who was he kidding. He had a small gun tucked away under his coat. Just in case he needed it.

‘Moriarty, I’m here!’ he shouted. The sound of his voice echoed around the empty factory. ‘Moriarty where are you? Mother? Are you here?’

Suddenly his phone rang. Sherlock was startled. He grabbed his phone inside his coat pocket and answered.

‘Hello brother, oh I do like the sound of that, it doesn’t get old. Well speaking of that, neither does the cottage, getting old that is. Shuck Sherlock, I thought we agreed. No dr Watson, no Mycroft and what did you do? You should have listened to me. This is your fault, now look what you have done. You burnt down your parent’s cottage. Tsk, Sherlock, you don’t play fair!’

Sherlock heard the disconnected tone and tried to dial the number back but didn’t get an answer. ‘John! John!’ he screamed at the top of his lungs.

John came running, he wasn’t far behind as they agreed upon.

‘Sherlock, where is he? What’s happened?’

Sherlock dialled his parent’s number but didn’t get a connection. He dialled Mycroft’s number, putting it on speaker phone so John could listen in; ‘Mycroft, what’s happened? What did he do?’

‘Oh Sherlock, why; why did you have to do that? For God’s sake, Sherlock, what on earth made you do this. Where are you now? Stay there you are being arrested and I can’t do anything to help you this time’

‘What are you talking about Mycroft?’ Sherlock shouted ‘I am in the factory where I was supposed to meet Moriarty to save mother. He isn’t here and neither is mother. He phoned me and said the cottage was on fire. What happened? Tell me!’

‘Sherlock, we know you lit it before you went to the factory, we saw you do it. Don’t you know we would have planted CCTV there? I have access you know. Everything to protect father after what Moriarty did to our mother. And you were caught Sherlock, setting the place on fire. After which you drove off with dr Watson’

‘Don’t be an idiot Mycroft. Why would I do that? Think will you? You are supposed to be the smart one aren’t you? Think! And if you aren’t capable of doing that, I am most certainly not staying here to get myself arrested for something I did not do!’

Sherlock put his phone back inside his pocket only to take it back again to call Lestrade.

‘Don’t tell me you believe that nonsense too’ he barked at Lestrade.

‘No Sherlock I don’t but I have to believe what my eyes are telling me and they tell me you set your parent’s house on fire’ Lestrade sighed. ‘Those are the facts. As you well know CCTV doesn’t lie’

‘Oh come on Lestrade use your brain for God’s sake! Of course it does don’t you see what is happening here? Am I the only one who does see?’

‘I’m sure you are about to tell me’ Lestrade could barely supress a yawn. It had been a long day.

‘Moriarty has access to a lot of things with a lot of help. Remember the crown jewels? He got inside there as well and easily too I might add. So why not have someone work at CCTV? Cut and paste or make someone look like me and you have one brother less to worry about. Why would I set my own parent’s house on fire? Why? I have absolutely no reason what so ever!’

‘I know, Sherlock, come to the police station and we’ll sort it here okay?’

‘I most certainly will not!’ Sherlock shouted and threw his phone on the ground.

He paced up and down until John stopped him.  
‘Sherlock, stop it. This doesn’t help. Is your dad all right?’

‘Yes he is’ Sherlock stopped and looked at John.  
‘John, I don’t know why they say I did it, you were with me the whole time weren’t you? I didn’t do that, and I never would!’

‘Of course you wouldn’t!’ John picked up Sherlock’s phone and gave it back to him. ‘Now stop throwing things around and think for a minute. What are we to do?’

‘I have to see the tape’ Sherlock said ‘and the house. I just can’t believe he did that. I can’t believe I let him use me like that’

‘Well, we’d better be quick about it’ John said.

‘I can hear the police sirens in the distance. They’re coming for us’


	5. Chapter 5

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sherlock's feelings are starting to show. But before he or John can talk about it, there's the anoying brother again...

_You might be a big fish in a little pond_  
 _Doesn't mean you've won_  
 _'Cause along may come a bigger one_  
 _And you'll be lost_  
 _Every river that you tried to cross_  
 _Every gun you ever held went off_  
 _Oh and I'm just waiting 'til the firing's stopped_  
 _Oh and I'm just waiting 'til the shine wears off (Coldplay-Lost)_  
  
  
Just as Sherlock and John were arriving at the cottage they could see the fire trucks driving away from it.  
John carefully parked his car somewhere remote so it wouldn’t be seen and they went nearer for a closer look.  
It wasn’t all too bad. Of course Mycroft had been exaggerating over the phone.

‘You wait here’ John said ‘I will go and find Mycroft. This is absurd; he can’t blame this on you. I will find out what’s going on without you getting arrested.’

And before Sherlock could protest John walked away leaving Sherlock waiting by the car.

Mycroft was outside at the cottage talking to Lestrade when John approached. Lestrade saw him first. ‘For fuck’s sake John, where is Sherlock? Don’t you dare let him come here; I’d have no other choice than to arrest him.’

‘Don’t you worry’ John said ‘He isn’t here with me’ knowing very well Sherlock could hear everything that was being said.  
‘Now, what is this nonsense of Sherlock being the culprit to all this? You all know very well it’s Moriarty and don’t you dare’ he said pointing at Mycroft ‘say otherwise’

Mycroft looked to the ground while speaking; ‘John, I promised Sherlock he’d be safe. And now this tape showing up; I… I failed him, I’m sorry’ Mycroft looked up at John and raised his voice; ‘It’s alright Sherlock, you won’t be arrested, the tape has somehow ‘disappeared’ and we are still looking in on that. You have my word’

‘I don’t really know what your word is worth anymore’ Sherlock’s voice came from behind the cottage. ‘You said John and I would be protected and safe after all’

Mycroft turned his head to where Sherlock’s voice was coming from; ‘You do have my word, Sherlock’

Lestrade was standing there with his hands in his pockets staring at Mycroft; ‘I’m not hearing this right am I?’

‘No inspector, you’re hearing is perfectly okay. You will find the tape missing if you look for it and there are no copies either. I know that if we’ll look at it eventually,  
we will see a glitch on it or something where it’s been tampered with. Moriarty has his tugs everywhere no doubt about that.  
Oh don’t look shocked will you? We both know it was Moriarty all along. He is trying to hurt my brother, my whole family I might add, and he must be stopped. We must concentrate on getting our mother back, protecting my father and locking up Sherlock for something he did not do doesn’t help getting all that accomplished now does it?’ Mycroft looked at Greg Lestrade; ‘Besides; we knew he was going to do something to discredit Sherlock and that’s why the damage is minor. Because we were prepared, so stop it with all those nonsense and those idiotic rules’

Sherlock appeared from behind the cottage and stared at his brother ‘I never heard you bending any rules, ever!’

‘There’s a first for everything, little brother’ Mycroft smiled at Sherlock ‘Now if you’ll excuse me, I have to go back to London. Oh Sherlock, I’m taking father with me, that seems the safest thing to do right now’

Sherlock nodded. He stepped forward and put his hand out to shake Mycroft’s. ‘Thank you Mycroft’ he simply said.

Mycroft nodded and went off to get his father.

‘Well, I’ll be damned’ Lestrade said shaking his head. ‘Seems like I just have nothing more to say’

‘Don’t you know Greg? He is the bloody government’ Sherlock smiled a weak smile.

                                                                      ------------

John and Sherlock drove back to London in silence. They decided it was no use staying near the cottage. Moriarty would have taken Mrs Holmes somewhere else by now. Maybe even back to London. Every now and then John looked at Sherlock. He felt uneasy with this silence between them. Of course he was very relieved that Sherlock wasn’t arrested, it would be such a stupid mistake if they had, but he knew there was something else bothering Sherlock, something other than Sherlock’s mother that is.

Back at Baker Street John wanted to ask Sherlock but as soon as they entered their home Sherlock said he was tired and went off to bed. It was late, or should he say early. It was probably the best thing to do, go to bed. He’d better ask Sherlock in the morning.

The next morning Sherlock was already up and pacing around when John got up. ‘Good morning Sherlock’ John said.Sherlock didn’t even seem to notice him and kept on pacing. John walked to the kitchen and made some tea as Sherlock’s phone rang.

‘Sherlock how wonderful to hear your voice again’ Moriarty said ‘Slept well?’‘Moriarty’ Sherlock growled.

John put the tea in front of Sherlock and sat down in his chair. Sherlock looked at him as if he only noticed him now.

‘Sherlock I’m surprised you’re not under lock and key. Maybe I have to be more careful next time’

‘There won’t be a next time. If you want me, take me. Leave everyone else out of it’ Sherlock grinded his teeth.

‘Don’t be like that. You’re always doing that. Let me have my fun. You’re always spoiling it for me… You’re such a BORE!’ Moriarty shouted that last word and Sherlock had to hold his phone further away from his ear.

‘Mummy doesn’t want me to shout. Well what about a trade for mummy. Mummy is a bore too, no fun at all. I don’t like her, she loves you more. What do you say? We’ll exchange John for mummy? You think about it, I’ll get back to you’

Before Sherlock could answer Moriarty hung up the phone.

‘What did he say? Sherlock, what did he say? John stood up and walked towards Sherlock.

‘He wants to make an exchange’ Sherlock whispered.

‘What kind of an exchange’ John asked.

Sherlock turned to look at John; ‘He wants to exchange my mother for you’                                                                                   

                                                                                          -----------------

‘No John you can argue with me until you see blue in the face I won’t let you go change places with my mother. Moriarty can’t be trusted’ Sherlock looked at John with a disturbed and worried face.

‘But Sherlock, at least your mother will be safe’ John tried to persuade Sherlock.

‘You know very well that Moriarty has no intention of letting either of you go. No John, I can’t have the two people I love most in this world put to risk’John, who had opened his mouth to say something, slowly closed it again. He looked at Sherlock. Did he hear that right? Sherlock was pacing up and down, looking every now and again at his phone not knowing what an impact those words had made on John.

‘Sherlock, what did you say just now? John asked carefully.

‘Hm what?’ Sherlock was preoccupied and was now looking out the window to see if inspector Lestrade was coming already.

‘Sherlock look at me please! What did you say?’

Sherlock slowly turned around and looked at John; ‘You heard me John, I’m not in the habit of repeating myself’Sherlock turned to the window and looked outside again. He could kick himself for letting those words come out of his mouth. If he had only said ‘care most about’ it would have been okay, no he had to say the L word. He didn’t dare turn around again and face John. He fiddled with his phone. Where was Lestrade when he needed him? Behind him he felt John walk towards him. Oh dear God what should he do now?

When he turned around his blood ran cold. John was standing in the middle of the room with Moriarty behind him holding a knife to his throat and his other hand over his mouth. The grin on Moriarty’s face was repulsive. Sherlock’s stomach turned in disgust.

‘Let… him… go…’ Sherlock growled.

Moriarty laughed ‘Why should I? You are so boring, Sherlock really, you are. And predictable too! ‘Oh don’t touch my precious John… Or I’ll hurt you!’ Well I would love to see you try, baby brother’

‘What do you want?’ Sherlock whispered ‘You clearly don’t want mother or John, you want to hurt me, and you want me. Take me then!’

‘Oh Sherlock, I can so easily hurt you. I will DISTROY you. If I kill mother and John, where will you be? You’ll be nothing. You’ll be lost’

‘Don’t forget I shall take my revenge if you do that’ Sherlock took a step closer to John and Moriarty.

‘Ah ah ah… don’t!’ Moriarty pressed the knife closer to John’s throat and Sherlock could see a drop of blood running down and John cringed. ‘Any last words Capt. Watson?’ Moriarty laughed as he removed his hand from John’s mouth.

‘Sherlock’ John said with a hoarse voice ‘Don’t; let me exchange places with your mother, I’ll be alright’

‘See? That’s a brave little soldier’ Moriarty started to walk backwards out of the room. ‘Don’t try to follow or he’ll be dead before you can say; ‘I love you John!’

Sherlock felt shivers going up and down his spine as he could not do anything else but to watch John being dragged away by Moriarty, whose words were hanging in the room it seemed. Did everybody know? Was he that transparent?

‘Moriarty’ he called as he collected his thoughts together. ‘Don’t you dare change your rules again. I will hunt you down, you can count on that’  
All he could hear was Moriarty’s giggle as the front door opened and closed again.

 


	6. Chapter 6

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It all begins to unfold as Sherlock's mother is found, but John is still held captive by Moriarty however. Nothing is what is seems, John says over the phone to Sherlock; what does he mean by that?

_Hang on; help is on its way_

_I’ll be there as fast as I can_

_“Hang on” a tiny voice did say_

_From somewhere deep inside the inner man_

_(Little River Band-Help is on its way)_

After panicking sometime after John was taken by Moriarty, which was not Sherlock’s way, he started to think of it like it was a new case. He had put photos of John on the wall like he had done in other cases and was looking at them, pondering. He stayed up all night, only to sleep for a few hours, not eating and only drinking some tea.   
Mrs Hudson came upstairs every now and again worrying. But he brushed all her worrying aside and pushed her out of the door.   
He phoned with Lestrade if there was any news; Mycroft came over more then was normal for him with a concerned look on his face.

 

‘Sherlock I really feel you should get some rest and eat something’ Mycroft tried to persuade his brother.

 

‘Oh please Mycroft; don’t baby me and leave me be’ Sherlock waved his hand as if he was brushing off a fly.

 

‘He has not phoned you I gather?’ Mycroft asked carefully.

 

Sherlock turned his head. Mycroft saw he had bags under his eyes and his eyes where reddish from not sleeping. He sighed; ‘No Mycroft he hasn’t. If he does I’ll let you know. Goodbye’

 

‘Sherlock…’

 

‘Goodbye!’ Sherlock walked over to his brother and practically pushed him out of the door and shut it behind him. He could just hear his brother’s voice from the other side softly saying; ‘I know it must hurt Sherlock. Take care of yourself please. You can’t help him, if you don’t take care of yourself!’ And then he heard Mycroft walking down. He stayed there listening until he heard the front door closing.

 

Mycroft was right of course, he thought. He needed to eat. He needed sleep too. He felt so tired all of a sudden. He must have stayed awake for about 3 days now, more or less, walking around London, staying up looking at his wall, looking at the pictures of John, thinking.   
 

He walked to the kitchen and looked in the cupboard. There was only some moulded bread. That meant he had to go out to do some grocery shopping and he really didn’t feel up to that right about now. He was so tired. He walked to his bedroom, dragging his feet. He really should be out there looking for John and his mother, but the sleep was taking over his brain. He never in his life had felt so tired. He fell on his bed, not bothering to undress and immediately fell asleep.

 

 

In the middle of the night he woke up from a frightening nightmare. John’s face was screaming at him without making any sound. He mouthed a word; ‘Help. Help me Sherlock’ and then all of a sudden a loud scream and when he awoke he realised it was he who was screaming. He closed his own mouth, hoping he hadn’t awakened Mrs Hudson. His head hurt and he his stomach rumbled.   
 

A knock on the door told him that Mrs Hudson had heard him screaming; ‘Sherlock? Are you alright? Sherlock! It’s me, open the door please’

 

He ruffled with his hands through his hair and scuffed to the door. ‘I’m sorry Mrs Hudson’ he said with a guilt stricken face ‘I didn’t want to wake you. I was having a nightmare’

 

‘Oh Sherlock, sleeping in your clothes again, dear?’ Mrs Hudson took a good look at him; ‘You haven’t eaten for days have you? Come on, I’ll make you breakfast’ and when Sherlock started to protest she said; ‘No I don’t want any arguments from you’ She took him by the hand and he went willingly too hungry to protest further.

 

It was almost 5 o’clock in the morning when they finished they’re early breakfast. Sherlock hadn’t eaten this much in ages! Mrs Hudson was standing at her kitchen sink with a smug face; grinning.

 

And that’s when Sherlock’s phone rang.

 

Both of them jumped up; scared. Mrs Hudson’s hands where fluttering about and Sherlock’s face was turning green; if he’d only not eaten so much…

 

He picked up his phone; ‘Hello?’

 

‘Sherlock, Greg here. We found your mother’

 

                                                        

        ----------------------------------------

 

Sherlock was told to stay where he was, but of course he couldn’t. It took him only 10 minutes to be at the sight where Greg had said his mother was found.

 

‘What did I tell you?’ Greg said when he saw him.

 

‘I know, shut up, where is she?’ Sherlock wanted to continue walking but Greg stopped him.

 

‘Sherlock, stop’

 

‘Greg? Is she alright? Tell me she is alright?’

 

‘She is alive but that’s all I can tell you so far. The medics are working on her. And no you can’t go there now, let them do their job first’

 

Sherlock paced back and forth until Mycroft showed. Greg could tell his whole story from the start and they both started pacing.

 

Finally the medics were done and their mother was stable enough to be transported to the hospital. As they came walking with her on a stretcher Sherlock and Mycroft both ran towards her. ‘Will she make it?’ Sherlock asked a medic.

 

‘She’s badly injured sir, we will know more in the next couple of hours. You have to go to the hospital and ask her doctor’

 

At that moment Sherlock’s phone rang; ‘Hello Sherlock, well how’s mummy doing?’

 

‘Damn you!’ Sherlock growled into the phone. ‘How could you! She’s barely alive’

 

‘She’s alive, isn’t she? Don’t whine Sherlock! It’s BORING!’

 

Sherlock started to get angry but he remembered that Moriarty still had John; ‘Let me speak to John please’

 

‘Oh you are so demanding. I don’t like having a little brother. But I’m in a good mood today, so alright than… Oh lover boy… someone wants to talk to you’ he said handing the phone to John.

 

Sherlock turned around quickly although no-one could hear what Moriarty said. He felt he was blushing when he heard him say that.

 

‘Sherlock’ John’s voice sounded weak and he had hoarseness in his voice but Sherlock was so happy to hear him.

 

‘John! John are you alright? How is he treating you? Did he harm you in any way? John, don’t you worry, I’ll find you!’

 

John had trouble talking. He cleared his throat before he tried to talk. ‘How’s your mother?’

 

‘She’s alive’ was all Sherlock said.

 

‘Good, good’ John coughed. ‘Sherlock, listen, I’ve have time to think. I thought about some of the cases we’ve done you know?’

Sherlock wanted to answer him but John said quickly; ‘No think Sherlock, people don’t think anymore, do they? Nothing was what is seemed in some cases we did. Remember in Baskerville? How I saw things that weren’t there? Sherlock, just don’t…’ John got cut off by Moriarty.

 

‘Well that’s quite enough from him. I really don’t know what he is babbling about, but he is doing that now. He’s starting to bore me too! Why are you having such boring friends and family Sherlock? Really, a complete and utter boring life you have! Well, nice talking to you! Have to dash! Talk to you soon, real soon!’

 

And before Sherlock could reply he heard the disconnected tone.

Greg Lestrade was standing next to him as he turned around; ‘What did the bastard had to say for himself?’

 

Sherlock had to digest it all himself. Thankfully John was alive but what he had said bothered him. Nothing was what it seemed? What did Baskerville have to do with it? He needed to think. ‘I have to go’ he simply said.

 

‘Oh no you don’t!’ Lestrade stopped him by taking his arm and looked him in his eyes; ‘Sherlock, I’m going with you to your house and you are going to tell me what he said, understood! You are not doing this alone, you hear?’

 

All of a sudden Sherlock felt so tired, so very tired. He began to falter. He looked up at detective inspector Lestrade and nodded; 

 

‘Alright’ he said.

                                                   

                      ----------------

 

When Lestrade walked into the living room of 221 B Baker Street, he tried to ignore the mess Sherlock had made, however difficult. He stepped over stacks of paper, brushed aside newspapers and more photos of John and Moriarty from the couch, and emptied the table from empty tea cups. And John had been away for only four days now?

 

‘Tea?’ Sherlock asked him. One look in the kitchen told Lestrade that he didn’t want a single thing. If it was messy in here it was even messier in the kitchen.

 

‘If John comes home he will love what you’ve done with the place’ he tried joking about it.

 

Sherlock turned around and faced him angrily; ‘WHEN he comes back you mean’

 

‘Yeah, sorry when he comes back’ Lestrade looked at Sherlock’s angry face. He was right to worry about him; he had changed. He felt it at the Holmes Cottage and now he knew. ‘Sherlock, may I ask you a personal question first?’

 

Sherlock sat down, his long fingers folded under his chin. ‘Yes you may’

 

‘I’m not sure how to put this really, but you and John…’ Lestrade hesitated.

 

‘Me and John what, Greg, you can say it out loud you know. There is nothing going on if that’s what you mean’

 

‘No, no, I mean, I noticed something different, you are different. And I just felt, well I just wanted to know if there is something I should know; you know what will help the case of course. Oh bollocks, I am worried about you, that’s it, there I said it’

 

Sherlock couldn’t help but smile; ‘Greg, there is nothing going on between me and John. But yes, you are correct. I am different. I am worried; extremely worried about John’ Sherlock leaned forward towards Greg; ‘Can I trust you Greg, I feel that I can and I don’t trust people quickly’

 

‘Of course you can!’ Lestrade was offended Sherlock had to ask.

 

‘Greg, I’m telling you this off the record alright? I don’t know about John, but I eh, my feelings for John, well they have changed’

 

Lestrade slapped himself on his knee; ‘I knew it! You are in love with him aren’t you!’ and when Sherlock nodded ‘I knew it!’

 

Sherlock told him about the phone call he got from Moriarty and what John had said. ‘Nothing is what it seems?’ Lestrade said.

 

‘What isn’t what it seems? I don’t get it!’ Lestrade hadn’t finished his sentence or his phone rang. He answered and listened and then looked at Sherlock in shock ending the phone call.

 

‘What?’ Sherlock said ‘What was that about, why are you looking at me like that? Tell me Greg!’

 

‘John was seen on CCTV. He is wired with a bomb and has a gun. He is walking towards Piccadilly Circus.’

 

‘Oh my god’ Sherlock whispered.

 

Sherlock’s phone rang; ‘Hello’ he said softly.

 

‘Sherlock, dear brother, how are you? I know the detective inspector is with you and you heard the news. Well, our boy is turned against you brother dear! He is working for me now! First he going to kill loads of people and then he willingly is taking his own life for me, isn’t that sweet? Just because you’re such a bore! Of course he is taking loads of people with him when he explodes, in thousands of pieces. Yes John Watson is definitely in danger!’

 

‘What do you want, Moriarty?’ Sherlock couldn’t talk normally, his voice was failing.

 

‘I want Mary Morstan back, a free ‘get out of jail-card’ just for her. And then a nice place for us both, far away from you boring people!’

 

‘And you think I can get you that?’ Sherlock shook his head in disbelief.

 

‘Well, you’d better hurry, or else; BOOM! Bye bye John Watson! You have one hour!’ and Sherlock stood there with his phone in his hand listening to another disconnected tone.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading and please do leave comments!   
> More chapters are following soon.


	7. Chapter 7

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Will Sherlock be able to save John in this final (yes the Final!) chapter? Or finally say that he loves him? Will Moriarty be reunited with Mary, or end up in... No I'm not going to spoil it for you.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is the last chapter to my first ever fanfic. I enjoyed writing it. I hope you enjoyed reading it as well. Please let me know what you think. I know I can improve on the English grammar but since it is not my first language I am open to any suggestions! Please let me know!  
> Thank you!  
> Love Kati

_Turn me into someone like you_  
 _Find a place that we can go to_  
 _Run away and take me with you_  
 _Don't let go I need your rescue (Muse-Save me)_  
  
When Sherlock arrived at Piccadilly Circus with Lestrade, the police had already tried to evacuate part of the surrounding streets. Sherlock’s eyes were searching in the crowd of people. Of course it was a busy day today of all days. There were tourists all over the place on this beautiful first day of spring. It was still early but more people were coming, busloads of them! Lestrade went to talk to his colleagues to try and get as many people away from Piccadilly as soon as possible. Sherlock however was still looking for John. Finally he found him on the corner at a traffic sign. He had his jacket zipped but Sherlock could see some wires underneath his coat. John just stood there, hands in his pockets. He was looking at the people coming from the bus and the police directing them back in the bus. John looked at his watch. Then he crossed the street and walked to the Eros statue where he stood still.

All of a sudden without any warning John took out a gun from his pocket and shot in the air. People started screaming and running in all directions. The police tried to get them out of there in an orderly fashion but people where panicking.

In that panic John grabbed one of the passer-byers and held him at gunpoint. It looked like it was a random man from the crowd but Sherlock; who still observed John saw another man push that man towards John and then running off himself as if he didn’t have anything to do with it.John started to yell out loud: ‘I’m going to shoot this man if you don’t listen!’

Nobody did listen; the screams where to loud and there was too much panic. Sherlock still watched John and started to shout across the street: ‘John! John stop this! Don’t do this, John we are here to help!’

John looked around when he heard Sherlock’s deep baritone voice. His eyes locked onto Sherlock’s when he saw him. Sherlock could see the unwillingness in his eyes. There was something else, something that drove him to this. ‘Stop Sherlock, or I’ll have to shoot this man and I will’ John said.

Sherlock was halfway across the street but stopped in front of the statue of Eros. He looked at John standing in the middle of the street. ‘Let that man go, John, take me in his place, please’

John saw the look on Sherlock’s face; ‘You know I can’t do that’ he said with a cold tone in his voice that frightened Sherlock.

John firmed his grip around the man’s neck and pointed the gun at his temple. In the meanwhile the police had managed to get rid of the crowd of people at Piccadilly Circus and was busy putting up a perimeter. It was now just John, Sherlock and the police. John had to know this wouldn’t end well for him.

Sherlock started to walk towards him holding out his hands; ‘I just want to talk to you John, please, let me come nearer’ and when John didn’t respond; ‘John, Nothing is what is seems. I know what you mean now. This is not you, this is Moriarty, obviously. I am sure there are several marksmen behind me, pointing guns at me, am I right?’ Sherlock stopped and faced John. He saw John’s eyes looking quickly up and down to Sherlock again.

‘I don’t know what you’re on about’ he then said and again his eyes where flashing up to a building across the street and to Sherlock again. ‘I want them’ looking at the police ‘to listen what I have to say, now Sherlock’ John started pulling the trigger. He held the man close and said; ‘I don’t have to tell you who this man is, do I?’

Sherlock who hadn’t given the man a second glance, turned towards the man and gasped. John had an arm around the man’s neck and held him close. It was the judge who had put Mary in jail. How did Moriarty know the man would be on this exact spot at this exact time?

Sherlock’s phone rang again; before he looked at it, he knew who it was. ‘Moriarty’ he said looking at John as he spoke.

‘Oh Sherlock, you’ve already wasted half an hour. And I don’t see Mary anywhere. Well, I am very disappointed in you, baby brother’ Moriarty heaved an exaggerated sigh. ‘You are trying my patience. Put the speaker phone on so John can hear’

Sherlock put the phone on speaker phone; ‘John’ Moriarty said ‘You can shoot the judge now. Go on, I’m watching you’

John hesitated. Sherlock saw he loosened his grip on the judge and whispered; ‘I don’t want to, please don’t make me. Sherlock, save me for God’s sakes’

‘You don’t have to’ Sherlock said looking at a police van driving towards them. ‘I believe there’s Mary. You can stop this now Moriarty and come and get your girlfriend yourself or she stays right here’

Moriarty started to laugh; ‘Oh Sherlock, you are so funny. I forget that sometimes. You did remember the BOMB now did you? Good, because if you don’t let Mary go, you know what will happen? Look at John Sherlock’ and as Sherlock turned to face John red dots appeared from across the street. Sherlock knew them all too well; the red dots from the marksmen. Sherlock put his phone back in his coat pocket.

The police van opened and out came Mary. Lestrade brought her to Sherlock. ‘What did the bastard say, Sherlock?’ Lestrade asked.

‘Give her to me, Greg. We have to think of John and the judge’ Sherlock was pointing at the red dots all over John’s jacket.

‘Bloody hell’ Lestrade said rubbing his unshaven chin. ‘You can see the wires of the bomb underneath his jacket. The bomb squat is standing by but you have to get it off of him Sherlock and quickly!’

Sherlock walked over to Mary who looked at him with a smug look on her face. ‘Don’t talk to me’ Sherlock said to her. ‘Not a single word from your lying mouth, or the deal is off, understood?’ The look Sherlock gave her whipped the look away and she started to get frightened of him; ‘You can’t hurt me’ she whispered ‘not here anyway’

Sherlock stopped and wanted to walk back. ‘Oh don’t be dramatic’ Mary said sighing ‘I’ll be quiet’ She rolled her eyes at him and they walked over to John.

When they got there John glanced quickly at Sherlock, pushed the judge away and grabbed Mary out of Sherlock’s arms. He held his arm around her neck and his gun pointed at her head.

Sherlock didn’t hesitate for one second. He jumped forward and grabbed the judge’s arm. Lestrade, who had watched it from a small distance, came running. But he came too late.

John cried out to Sherlock; ‘Sherlock look out!’ and Sherlock saw all the red dots pointed at him and the judge. He tried to shout at John, but a gun firing deafened him for a short while. John screamed; Lestrade came running and the judge collapsed. He had been shot in his shoulder from somewhere out of the buildings on opposite side of the street. Sherlock turned fast and saw those red dots on John’s jacket and under that jacket was a bomb. He started running back to John shouting at him to duck. John looked down at the dots on his jacket. He manoeuvred Mary in a way that she covered him.

‘Stand back!’ he shouted across the street ‘Stand back or I’ll blow her up as well!’

Sherlock’s phone rang again. He looked at John. ‘No’ John said ‘He has to come himself this time. Let him safe her. If he wants her so badly, he has to come and get her’ He put the gun at Mary’s cheek; ‘Shout his name, go on! Let him come over here. Now Mary!’

Mary screamed at the top of her lungs; ‘Jim, please come help me, he is going to shoot me, please!’

They waited for Moriarty to come but it didn’t seem that he would. ‘Well Mary, goodbye’ John said pulling the trigger. Mary started screaming and pleading with John as they heard a voice coming up from behind them.

‘Well, here I am, let her go’ Jim Moriarty came from behind the statue and stood there with a grin on his face.

‘I’d rather shoot her’ John said ‘She’s no good and neither are you for that matter’

Moriarty shrugged his shoulders; ‘I really don’t care what you think, GIVE HER TO ME’ He pulled his own gun and pointed it at John.

John slowly pulled the trigger of his gun which he had placed on Mary’s cheek; ‘I wouldn’t if I where you’

Sherlock tried to take a step closer to get to Moriarty. ‘Oh no little brother’ Moriarty said ‘Try something and that bullet goes straight into Johnny boy’

They were at a stalemate. Neither side could move without the other one pulling the trigger.

‘Oh give it up already Moriarty’ Lestrade shouted from a small distance ‘Don’t think for one minute you two are escaping from here!’

‘I swear’ John said looking at Moriarty ‘I’m taking her with me if you let those thugs take one shot at me’

Moriarty looked up at one of the buildings, nodded and all of a sudden the red dots disappeared. He slowly lowered his gun but then suddenly with a frustrated cry he fired and hit John’s leg.

Lestrade signalled and policemen came from everywhere to arrest a screaming Moriarty.

John was shocked at the sudden sharp pain in his leg just after he heard the sound of a gun firing at it. He let go off Mary who tried to run away but was arrested by Sergeant Donovan.

As John caved to the ground he felt Sherlock’s arms around him, freeing him of the bomb jacket and then holding him and he looked up at him and smiled before he closed his eyes in pain.

 

                                                                                                                               ------------------------------------------

 

‘How are you feeling?’ Sherlock rearranged John’s pillows on the sofa and pulled up a chair.

‘Good good’ John smiled ‘A bit tired but otherwise just good. I’m glad to be home again’

‘Turns out Moriarty wasn’t such a good shot after all’ Sherlock smirked

‘It certainly doesn’t feel like that’ John sat more upright with a pain stricken face.

‘Can I help?’ Immediately Sherlock rose next to him.

‘I can get used to this you know’ John smiled up to him. ‘But before I forget; who was on the phone this morning?’

‘Ah, yes, I almost forgot. That was Greg Lestrade. I told him I knew who I thought the man in the Thames was.’

‘Well, don’t let me wait, it’s not that I’m going anywhere or anything’ John sighed

‘Sorry’ Sherlock sat down again. ‘The man found under Blackfriars Bridge was Mary’s lawyer as it turns out’

‘Really? Well, Moriarty doesn’t do things half way apparently’

‘Hm, no apparently not’ Sherlock seemed distracted.

‘Well case solved then?’ John turned and faced Sherlock. ‘Or not; you’re looking like you’re going to be sick or something. Are you alright?’

Sherlock fidgeted with his hands and scuffed his feet. He was nervous.  
  
He knew he had to say something but he didn’t know how to start.  
He didn’t have to. John put his hand on Sherlock’s. ‘It’s alright Sherlock I know. It would be lovely if you’d said it, but I know.  
Of course I know! How could I not?’

Sherlock looked up at John. He could mean anything by saying that. But when his eyes met John’s all hesitation melted away;  
  
‘John’ he whispered ‘I have been so alone before you came in my life. And ever since I met you, I… I just am not alone anymore.  
I can’t explain it properly, I’m sorry’

‘It’s alright, like I said, I’m not going anywhere for a while. I can’t walk very well with that damn leg, so I’ll just lay here and wait till you’ll be ready, alright?’ John took his hand away and leaned back into his pillows. He sounded disappointed Sherlock thought.

Sherlock stood up and walked to the kitchen trying very hard not to cry. Damn you, he cursed himself. Now you have blown probably the only chance you’ll ever get! Sherlock got angry at himself for being that weak. He hated being weak. He leaned against the kitchen sink and felt the tears welling up in his eyes. ‘Caring is not an advantage, Sherlock’ he heard Mycroft’s voice saying in his head. His hands where clinging to the counter as he tried harder to push the tears away. He waited so long for this moment and now it had gone and passed. In the living room he heard John sighing. He couldn’t let this moment pass him by, he just couldn’t. It didn’t matter what the world would think, or even what John would think. He had to get it off of his chest. It was killing him. He had absolutely no idea what John would say or feel for that matter but he just had to try!

He turned around and rubbed over his face and whipped the tears out of his eyes. He straightened his back and walked back to the sofa back to John who was laying eyes closed on his pillows. He looked tired. From a small distance Sherlock looked at him. Then Sherlock bent down and carefully planted a soft very gentle kiss on John’s lips. John opened his eyes as Sherlock withdraw and smiled.

‘Finally’ he said ‘You don’t know how long I’ve been waiting for that’

‘You have?’ Sherlock looked surprised.

‘Oh God yes!’ John sighed. ‘I didn’t want to make the first move; I didn’t want to scare you off. I knew you had to take your own time.But I’ve seen you struggling Sherlock and I so wanted to let you know it wasn’t necessary!’

‘I wish I knew but you are probably right.’ Sherlock sat down in his chair again. ‘Everybody knew but me, even you! And I thought I was smart!’ Sherlock shook his head.

‘Well you are, only not when it comes to matters of the heart’ John smiled at him lovingly and took his hand again and squeezed it.

Sherlock looked at John and when he bent down to kiss him again he said; ‘I love you John Watson, I always have’

‘I love you too, Sherlock Holmes’ John said before Sherlock’s mouth touched his with a gentle long kiss.


End file.
